Presence over Presents

Over the past few years, my husband and I have started to look at life differently. We left the city, cut cable and are starting to spend more time in nature. We’ve simplified in many ways which has changed the how we celebrate this season. We have chosen presence over presents.

The concept of living life to its fullest has become very real to me in recent years. Losing loved ones in the prime of their lives has made me come to terms with my own mortality and prompted me to enjoy the little things in life and savour each moment.

When we think of savouring something during the holidays, we think of festive treats and dinners – mulled wine, cinnamon cupcakes and juicy turkey. Often, we get so caught up in the rush, thinking of the next thing on our list of To-Do’s, that we forget to savour the moment.

This is something I struggled with for years, and time seemed to be flying by. Now that I have incorporated specific practices, time moves slower and small things have become more enjoyable.

Here are some techniques that I use to help me savour the simple joys of life:

• 1. Stop and smell the roses

When I got married, my goals were to stay on budget, not be a bridezilla and to truly enjoy my day. At several points throughout the day, amongst all the hubbub and craziness, I consciously stopped for a moment, looked around, took a deep breath and took it all in. Each time was a matter of 30 seconds or less, but that practice made the day seem longer somehow.

So when you’re in the kitchen this weekend, preparing your turkey with a glass of wine in hand - kids noisily at play, while others argue over politics or the latest headline - take a deep breath, close your eyes and savour those sounds and smells; for tomorrow, they will be all but a memory.

• 2. Meditate

You’ve probably heard time and time again that meditation has many health benefits, but you’ve never tried it or maybe you have but it hasn’t become a part of a regular routine.

When I first started meditating, I found it very difficult to be still. My mind would wander uncontrollably and I’d itch all over. Sometimes, I got very emotional and would burst into tears. I was put off that it wasn’t having the effect I’d hoped for, but my husband encouraged me to keep trying and eventually I got it.

If you’ve been put off by it, or are skeptical about trying, I strongly encourage you (like my husband did for me) to try and make it a habit; all it takes is a few minutes a day. Don’t wait until the New Year to implement positive changes – start now (there’s no sweat involved!)

Here are my two favourite guided meditation apps to help you start:

Insight timer:This is great for those of you who may be a bit more experienced or prefer a more spiritual type of practice. The review section helps if you are unsure if a specific meditation is right for you. This app also keeps track of your practices, like a journal of sorts. I’ve found this feature to help me feel proud of what I have accomplished, rather than feeling bad about what I haven’t.

Headspace: Fantastic for beginners and procrastinators! It is a daily series of meditation and will even remind you to practice via phone notifications. The narrator will guide you through the basics and helps with the inevitable wandering thoughts.

• 3.Turn off and enjoy the simple pleasures

We are immersed in screens now more than ever. Between text messages, emails and Facebook notifications, distractions are easy to come by. Problem is, we are missing out on the smallest joys – from conversations to pet snuggles.

Switch off your notifications, put it on silent or simply turn it off completely. Don’t worry about posting your holiday play by play. Take lots of photos and share them later.

• 4.Quality time

My husband and I don’t exchange gifts any more, for any occasion. It began when we simply couldn’t afford to and has now become a tradition in its own right. Instead, we invest in an activity together or give something handmade, like love coupons or love books.

Quality time is the best gift anyone could receive. There are many ways to give the gift of quality time. Anything from movie tickets to drinks out, or even a home cooked meal. Get creative!

Showing someone you know that you care about them is the purpose of a gift in the first place. My grandmother used to get my sister and I play tickets every year as children. The gift was a wonderful day that my sister and I got to spend with her. Now that she’s gone, those moments are cherished so much more than any toy (which would now be long gone and forgotten anyway).

• 5.Give of yourself

By simply being there for someone, you are already giving a very valuable gift. Reach out to someone in need, be it a friend or stranger.

Although it may usually be said sarcastically, bless someone with your presence. Sometimes we forget how important we actually are to those around us. To those who care about you and love you for who you are, your presence is more important than any physical gift. And it’s one you don’t need a date on a calendar to give.

Finally, give yourself the gift of being present. You deserve to enjoy the little things; they are all around us.

“I know that the purpose of life is to understand and be in the present moment with the people you love. It's just that simple.” - Jane Seymour
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